I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
