I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
