you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize