This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
