For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
