I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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