Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
