dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
