i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
