Who did Billy Mays play for?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm both gender and math confused
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