am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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