I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize