Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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