if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
