Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
