i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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