Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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