You work out of a Hotel?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
