His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
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Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
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I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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