this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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