Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
