Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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