but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF