Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
