we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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