A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
