Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Send help, water and tortillas.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
