I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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