So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
