so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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