I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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