how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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