Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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