I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I bet he comes in French.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
