My hand turned me down
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Randomize
