If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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