So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
