and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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