ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We are all done wearing pants today
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
