What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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