I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
