I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
