We're like a lot better than the average bears
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
