so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize
