I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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