I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
