you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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