You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
