Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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