i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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