did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
