I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm just crazy horny about you
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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