Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
