Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just googled if crying burns calories
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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