Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
