he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This couple is walking their pig around campus
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
