So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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