Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
