I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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