Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
where are you?
Hypothermia
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
