doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
