Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
PANTIES FOUND
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