i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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