North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
