dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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