Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize