Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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