But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
