I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
