O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
