There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
